Am I ready to face myself?

Here goes. This is going to be very raw. I write this in the midst of crying spells. I've come to realize that one of my biggest blocks on this twin flame journey is...... I never think I am ready. I think I need to plan in order to feel secure. I fail to realize that my safety and security comes directly from God. And that life is always unfolding in a divine order. I didn't think that I was ready to meet my twin flame. I didn't think I was ready to be in a relationship with someone at that time. Most recently, I didn't think I was ready to do my first yoga practice teach. So what happened there? I became sick with a sinus infection. I also avoided practicing the material. Avoidance is my go-to unhealthy coping mechanism. I still hold so much fear. Sometimes I hold resistance to watching TFAS classes; because I don't think I'm ready to receive the information. I constantly feel overwhelmed because I don't feel "ready" for what life has in store for me. I don't like to be rushed. This is a story I tell myself. A false belief if you will. But what am I really afraid of here? Afraid of failure? Afraid of not living up to my own or other's standards? Afraid of being judged? Possibly, all of the above. But it stops me from moving forward. Which is an issue.

Another one of my biggest blocks is this pervasive feeling that I am being left behind. And oh, does this one manifest in my outer reality. I missed my practice teach for yoga teacher training, I am divorced while most of my friends are married, I live in a studio apartment, I graduated the coaches in training program way later than I expected...... the list goes on. So what do I do? I avoid and I isolate myself. Because if I think I can't deal with my own feelings; then how can I deal with anyone else's? So I withdraw.

And I have this flaw. I keep comparing myself to others and how their lives are going. Which is pointless because we are all on unique paths. And you're your own unique person. Too often we do not follow our inner voice, intuition, our inner teacher. It's time for me to let things flow.

And here's my advice to anyone reading this. Mirror it... do your spiritual inner work. And face your fears. It's the only way to move forward. Courage is not the absence of fear. Courage is triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers fear. - Nelson Mandela