The Truth Shall Set You Free: Part 1

Happy Thanksgiving Y'all! I am reflecting on what I am grateful for, as well as my spiritual journey. I don't even know where to begin. I wrote a blog entry in here called "Stand Firm, Be Bold With Love," on 7/31/2020. The article was a segway into how to tell if you or your loved one is in a cult. I wrote that entry because I had left a group called Twin Flame Ascension School (TFAS) which I believed to have been a cult. And I didn't want other people to fall into the same trap, and I also hoped some people in there might see my entry and leave. I still do. I couldnt explicitly say the group was a cult at the time, because I had signed an NDA while in the group. Well, as you can see with the two most recent documentaries: "Desperately Seeking Soulmate," on Amazon Prime and "Escaping Twin Flames," on Netflix... those NDAs have expired. And it's abundantly clear I was in this group if you read previous blog entries I have on this website.

When I first left the group 3 years ago; I'd look back on what I wrote and cringe. It still does make me cringe when I think about the amount of credit I gave Jeff & Shaleia for healing. The mirror exercise is a tool that was passed onto them by their spiritual teacher... who has passed on. And also, the mirror exercise can prove to be detrimental because it promotes self-blame. Step 2 of the mirror exercise tells you to rephrase your issue and change the pronouns so that you've done it to yourself. That being said, the exercise does promote looking at your feelings/triggers, conversing w/ your inner child, asking it what it needs, and giving it to them. That part isn't so bad, However this tool was used for coercion by the leaders, and at times they used verbally abusive language towards their inner circle.

I am grateful for the fact that I was only on the outskirts of this group; despite buying some of the products. I think that had to do with the fact that I only joined March of 2019. I am also thankful for the people I met in the group, who have left, and I still remain in contact with. There's a select few. So... what leads someone to join a group like that to begin with? I was navigating a dark night of the soul spurred by the combination of divorce, leaving behind a person who I now believe was a karmic partner as I changed jobs. It was the worst depression I'd ever known. I saw/heard this person's name everywhere. I felt I literally couldn't get away from it. I researched the phenomenon and soul shock came up... which is associated with separation from a twin flame.

The only thing is, at my point of joinging the group; I didn't actually want to be in a romantic relationship with this person. I just wanted them to not be a permanent fixture in my subconscious, my mind and my energy field. So at that point, I had wanted to either move on from this person or be with them. I just wanted a reason as to why I saw all these signs. The rational side of me says maybe it was confirmation bias. There was a time I wanted to be in a romantic relationship with that person, but that was two years prior when I left my old job. I had followed a lot of other twin flame teachers before I actually stumbled upon Jeff & Shaleia. And then they popped up on my pinterest. And their earlier work seemed convincing, and also there are only a handful of twin flame teachers actually with their counterpart.

But back to March of 2019, I was in a job I despised with a manipulative boss and a career that was going nowhere. I was a preventive worker, which meant I try to prevent removals to fostercare. So I saw the most dire situations: homes in filth and squalor, parents with severe mental health issues, substance abuse issues, violent beh. You name it, and I saw it. We generally had a low caseload, so I also had too much time to think. I was living in a basement studio apartment w/ a controlling landlord. My cousin got hit by a drunk driver and was paralyzed. And an infatuation with this guy whom I could not get over, without knowing why. We never dated, we weren't even really friends. We just worked together at my job prior to being a preventive worker. We barely talked. Prior to this instance, I was one of those people who, "Just didn't get that way over guys." I was more focused on career, hobbies or self-improvement. But divorce rips a gaping hole within you, even if you're the one who wanted it. Which I did, because it was an unhealthy relationship and no amount of talking it out was going to fix that. I guess I was looking to fill a void.

About a month before I left my old job to work as a preventive worker, a strange thing started to occur. Everytime I was near this person I was infatuated with I would get physically sick, as in nauseous. I literally couldn't be near him. I met someone in the TFAS group who actually gave me an answer as to why that might happen. She stated that if you are spiritually ascending more than your karmic partner; then being around them makes you physically ill. She said the same thing happened with her and her ex-husband. She said she couldn't even be in the same room with him, leading up to the divorce. She also said could choose to release his energy, and I'd be able to move on. And it worked. Just like that. So, in some backwards way....... I got what I was looking for.

Also, Sama who was featured in the book that TFAS sells, is an acro yoga instructor. I was inspired to become a yoga instructor from her story. Would I be a yoga instructor today without reading that? I'm really not sure. I had practiced yoga on and off for years, but never felt compelled to teach it. And I've definitely experienced self-growth from teaching yoga. So I have mixed feelings about the experience in general. Granted, I had minimal direct contact with Jeff and Shaleia and I think that made the world of difference. To be continued in Part 2....